But What if Things Had Been Different?
by Nightheart
Summary: I was re-watching the episode where Relena was flying up into space to meet her brother face to face and convince him to stop what he was doing and I wondered 'what if he hadn't missed?' So here's what I wrote.


"What could my brother be thinking

"What could my brother be thinking?" she murmured to herself. Relena Peacecraft looked down at her hands, too preoccupied at the moment to even stare out the window of her shuttle at a view that normally brought her peace and tranquillity. There was nothing peaceful or tranquil about these times.

How could he? How _could_ he?! she thought. Her heart was anguished. For although Treize Kushrenada had relieved Relena of the burden of having to condone a fight against her own flesh and blood, the ache of his declaration of war against the Earth…against**_ her_**, remained.

It had been a stinging slap in the face to see her own brother declare war against the Earth, against the sphere she protected, against his birth home. They should have been working together to find a peaceful solution…he was a Peacecraft he acknowledged his name now. Why was he doing this? 

Why? How could he? How _could_ he? My own brother…I can't believe it.

It had to be that Epyon! It had somehow messed with his mind. Relena was certain if she could get to him she could find a way to wake him up, make him see reason. He couldn't possibly want this war, he couldn't possibly want all of these deaths. He was her brother, surely he wanted peace just the same as she did. If she could just get to where he was she was certain she could make him stop his crazy plan, make him see that what he was doing was not the right way to bring about true peace. He was her brother, he would listen to her.

She knew that there was still good in him. He had to love her, he _had_ to! 

The shuttle cruized ever closer to where her brother Milliardo Peacecraft waited her in his battleship. He would listen to her, he had to. She would make him see. She was the only one who could stop him.

First available opportunity I get I'm going to find the self-destruct switch on that Gundam and blow it to smithereens, she promised herself. That Epyon has surely deranged his mind. That's the only thing I can come up with that makes any sense.

He was targeting a helpless colony, going to blow it to bits and kill the quarter of a million people who lived and loved and worked inside. He wouldn't…he couldn't. No one could be that cruel, not him. Not her own brother.

I'll stop him, I'll turn him good again. I can make him the kind brother he once was…I know I can. I will.

* * *

Zechs Merquis watched the tiny shuttle as it approached the battleship hanging in the orbit of the earth. His sister was inside it and coming ever closer. Finally a reunion with his last remaining blood-kin, one he had waited a long time for. 

She shouldn't be here, she shouldn't be caught in the middle of this war. She doesn't _know_. Has no idea of the true nature of battle. She's only a child, only…my little sister.

It doesn't matter, the other voice whispered to him the one that sounded metallic and soulless. The voice of Epyon. She thinks you won't fire, she thinks that simply because she is your sister she is immune to your power. This is a war, people die in it every day. She will simply be one more casualty.

She didn't understand. He was the leader of the White-Fang, he could not lose face in front of his soldiers. He would fire the main cannon, regardless of who was in the way because it was the only way to challenge Treize and bring this war to its conclusion. Bringing the child to understand the ugly nature of a battlefield was, in a way, a kind act.

All of Humanity will see the loathsome, hideous, ghastly nature of the wars it waged and then when they realize what it was they are doing to themselves, to each other, they will never wish to see another battle ever again. It is the only true way bring about peace. What mankind achieves too easily it will esteem too lightly. They have to work for their peace.

But Relena…

Relena is truly in no danger. She won't be hit by the cannon. Once this war ends and Humanity grasps its necessary revelation, then will come her time. She will be needed in the future. She will bear out the true value od your shared name and lineage. Don't worry. Nothing will happen to your sister, the cold metallic voice whispered into his mind. The machine knew things, could see the future. It never showed him everything, only enough, just enough.

Her face appeared on screen.

"Milliardo. It's me, Relena," she said meeting his gaze directly with her own. She was wearing that determined look in her eyes. "Listen Milliardo, I am convinced that you're making a huge mistake."

She only says that because she doesn't know…cannot see.

She shouldn't be here. She needs to be somewhere safe, the man who was Milliardo now, argued with the machine. Even if it could see the future, that was his sister out there.

"Stay away Relena," he waned. Most soldiers did not even get a warning.

"I will do no such thing," she told him. Her jaw was set stubbornly.

She doesn't think you'll do it. She doesn't believe you'll fire on her because she doesn't understand that this is a war. We'll show her…we'll make her understand.

"When Libra's main cannon is fired your shuttle will be destroyed. You'll simply be wasting your life."

Are you sure that nothing will happen to her? She is the only thing precious I have left to protect.

She'll be fine, shocked with the realization that when she called our bluff it was not a bluff, but otherwise unharmed.

"I don't care if my life is wasted, but at least let me say this much to you, please," she pursued.

Foolish girl. She thinks she can sway us with words, with reason. She thinks she will have us eating out of the palm of her hand like all of those sheep back on earth. Those supposed "world leaders" don't have the first clue as to what real warfare is like. To them it's all just one big chess game. Lives are only numbers to them. We'll show them! We'll show everyone!

Yes!

"…We both bear the Peacecraft name and as such aren't you embarrassed to be brandishing military power and controlling people as you are?" Rlena said. Her eyes pleaded with him to listen to her. Milliardo unwillingly flashed back to a time when they had been small children in the Sanc Kingdom. He had wanted to go hang out with Trieze, his best friend, but Relena had wanted to go along with him. Her eyes had begged him, just as they were doing now to let her spend time with him. 

She's trying to weaken you, trying to prove to everyone that you aren't a soldier. She won't get in the way of the lesson mankind needs to learn. Without that lesson, mankind won't ever achieve peace. We have to show them…and we have to show her.

Yes. Yes, we'll show them. We'll show everyone, even the innoscent little lamb that lives are not game pieces. She will understand! We'll make her understand.

It's for her own good.

Yes…her own good.

Milliardo hardened his heart against her. As much as part of him wanted to give in and wait until she was safely aboard to fire, he knew that she had to understand that he would not spare her, simply because she was his last blood relation. He exspression hardened.

"Is that all you have to say to me?" he demanded.

"Wait Milliardo—"

He ignored her.

"Fire the main cannon. Start the countdown now."

Someday, she will thank us for the truths we are about to show her. She'll survive, and be grateful.

"Yes sir," the voice of Quinze said off to his right.

"Milliardo, is there no way to stop you from this foolish attack? God will never forgive you for this Milliardo! I beg you, try and come to your senses!" Her eyes were defiant, almost seeming to say '. You won't fire, you can't fire. I dare you to fire!'

Is she afraid? Of me? Milliardo did not want his only sister to be afraid of him, to hate him.

If she is afraid she does not show it. She is strong enough to accept what we are about to teach her. She will thank you for it.

"I _have_ come to my senses," said Milliardo looking up into her eyes with eyes that were as icy clod as the depths of a glacier.

"Milliardo!"

"Fire the main cannon," he ordered. She would be fine, she was not directly in the cannons path. Nothing would happen to her, she'd be a little scared, and then she would be here, safe.

The blue-white bolt of energy shot out from the main cannon, Relena's shuttle brushed the edge of it as it went careening on its path to earth. The man Milliardo let out a small sigh of relief as Relena's shuttle moved away. His precious sister would be safe. He could keep her safe here, and just perhaps there would be time, a moment, for him to feel the ties of blood and family again. He turned his gaze back toward earth, to the spot on the surface that was being blackened to cinders by his cannon.

"Sir, shuttle is being knocked off course…" said one of the bridge assistants. Milliardo looked back at where his little sister was supposed to be getting out of the way. The shuttle was smoking from one engine rolling off course… and careening straight back to the deadly blue-white beam shooting from his ship.

"Stop firing!" he ordered. He had unconsciously leapt to his feet.

Too late. 

The small shuttle passed into the fire and there a small war blossom of its explosion bloomed against the night and then was gone. The beam that had destroyed his only precious thing in this world disappeared seconds later.

There was the sound of a scream ringing out on the ships bridge, it took him a second to realize that it was his.

Dorothy looked on in muted shock, not even able to clasp her hands and reassure herself that it was a noble death for a good cause. Her face reflected the shocked realization that her little mouse-toy had just been slaughtered by her own brother.

The entire bridge was looking at him, silently. Milliardo could only stare at the screen where her face had been only moments before.

You said that she wouldn't be hurt, you said that she'd be HERE Epyon! Milliardo growled accusingly.

I lied.

Damn you! "DAMN YOU!" he screamed out loud and abruptly departed from the bridge, leaving the bewildered Quinze in his wake.

My own sister. My own sister. How…Dammit! Nothing will ever rinse the taint of her blood from my hands. I killed her.

It was a necessary sacrifice.

Shut-up! Shut-up! SHUT-UUUUP! he screamed inside his mind. He gripped his head.

Dead. He'd killed her. He'd slaughtered his own sister…

He climbed into Epyon, maybe it had been a mistake. She might have survived…a life pod? A hallucination of his own making? Anything…anything but this. It couldn't be. He couldn't have killed the only thing he had in his life that he could protect. Noin didn't need him, she could take care of herself…

Noin. Dear god, what if it is true? How can I ever face her with something like this. Mother. Father. I will surely be condemned to the depths of hell for this. She was right, God will never forgive me for this. Death is prefferable. It is time I atoned. Please let it not be true.

His head was swimming, racing with these frantic thoughts as he pulled his ship out of the hanger and went to search the path of the beam for the shuttle. It might have been Epyon, playing a trick on his senses… But the only time he'd ever hallucinated was when he was within the cockpit.

The pathway was clear. There was nosign of the shuttle. (All debris had been burned away by the force of the beam.)

Perhaps she was never really there at all. She can't be dead. She's too young. I'm supposed to protect her.

Milliardo searched frantically for a sign, a scrap anything that would tell him that his terrible vision hadn't come true.

She has to be here…she has to be still alive. I can't bear the thought of…no!

He shut his eyes but the final explosion was etched on his eyelids, burned into his memory. He would never escape the horrible vision.

"Zechs…"

The beautiful voice of the other woman he loved more than his own existence crackled over the com.

"Zechs…I know you're there. She's gone Zechs."

"No!" he denied. "She can't be. She must be here, still alive! I couldn't have… No!" he said, his breathing was ragged. Noin, he had left his siter in her care once, before the Sanc Kingdom fell, the letters she had managed to get to him had been filled with praise for Relena, how strong she was, how brave she was…How she was beginning to feel like Noins own family. How Noin loved her fire and spunk, how she felt as though Relena was her own sister…

There! A tiny flash of metal in the distance. _That_ was her shuttle. It had to be.

"Zechs…Oh Zechs," said Noin. He could hear her open sobbing, the tears in her voice, choking off her breath with deep shuddering sobs. "Zechs…how could you?"

"She's here! She has to be!" he yelled. 

"Zechs, she isn't here," said Noin implacably. "You killed her. How could you?"

Milliardo couldn't bear to look up and see the accusatory expression on Noin's face. Couldn't bear to see the pain, the anguish, the loathing of him that must surely be in her eyes. He couldn't see that from the only woman besides his sister who had ever meant a damn to him.

Noin… Noin would grant him relief from his pain. She would understand. It was the only possible way he could atone for this…travesty.

"Kill me Noin," he whispered. It was the only way.

"Zechs…you have to know that I can't do that." 

She had to be confused, she loved him but how could she after seeing something like this. No, there was no future here. Not now. This horrible memory would hang over their heads like the sword of Damocles, tainting and perverting everything that was good in their relationship.

"I'll do it," another voice said. A now-welcome, flat and monotonous voice. Heero Yuy.

"Heero!" said Noin. "You can't—"

"Let him, Noin. I want this. It's best. It's the only way to…"

"Zechs. Please." She begged. Despite what she had just seen, she did not want to see him die.

"No Noin. Relena was my only sister. I…I…k-_killed_ her. There will never be peace for me ever again any other way. This is the only way I know of to let her soul rest. It is fitting that he is the one who will kill me, since she once tried so hard to save his life."

"But—"

"Don't get in our way Noin," said Heero. The switched off the com to her suit and opened a channel to Zechs.

"You have just destroyed the hope for a peaceful world after the batttle," Heero told him. "Was it a future Epyon showed you?"

"No. Just shut-up and kill me, Yuy. Let me die out here in battle with a small scrap of honor."

"It's a better death than you deserve."

Epyon took off, heading straight for the Wing Zero.

END

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. Its concepts and charactors belong to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency as well as to its original creators Yoshiyuki Tomino and Hajime Yatate. I make no profit off the writing of this fic.

Authors Note: In the infamous words of Bugs Bunny…"Ain't I a stinker?"


End file.
